Dear Mr. President, I am angry. For most of this year, our country has been paralyzed. Many of us have completely changed our lives, canceled important once-in-a-lifetime events, lost our jobs, lost our healthcare, and waved to our loved ones from across the street or via video chat. Some are nervously sending kids back to … Continue reading On Behalf of the Grieving
I saw a childhood friend a few weeks ago whose fiance passed away in August after a horrible battle with cervical cancer. I've felt so much of what she's feeling right now, but I have no idea what it's like to be a partner's primary caretaker for a year and a half, a uniquely painful … Continue reading Grief How-To: Thank You Cards
When John died and my entire world came to an abrupt halt in February of 2017, it felt like everyone I loved paused with me for a moment. Friends ditched work to be by my side at the hospital, the funeral, the cemetery, and lots of blurry days in between and afterwards. A few weeks … Continue reading When the World Stands Still
Before you lose someone close to you, there's a common misconception that one day you will "move on" from the loss. Even in the early part of my grief journey, I was chasing the day that my broken heart would heal and I would move on from John's death. That was survival mode talking. 3.5 … Continue reading Always Moving Forward, Never Moving On
2020 is largely a dumpster fire. There are plenty of things that I'm still grateful for - the best parents and brother, Eli, Hirt baby, Ollie, my savings account, evenings on the balcony, etc - but I really believe the year in its entirety is the root cause of my shingles. This year has robbed … Continue reading Grieve the Important Things, Even If They Are Only Important to You
Someone asked me recently if I've been writing. He asked me why when I told him no and I said, "Because I'm happy." Saying that was equal parts true, false, and made me feel like a phony. It's true because I'm pleased to share that for the most part, I am happy. It's also false … Continue reading Avoiding
There, I said it. We're just over a week out from the 2-year anniversary of John's death. Boggles the mind. The last two years have been a series of ups and downs, and I'd venture to say more ups than downs. I've tried my hardest to make the best out of a shitty situation and … Continue reading Grief’s a Bitch
When I started reading things about grief after John died, I frequently came across the idea that the second year of grief is more difficult than the first. I scoffed every time I read that. How can the second year be harder? How can any feeling be worse than what I'm feeling right now? Now, … Continue reading Grief: Year Two
When I was in middle school, I became friends with a girl whose mom had died. I remember coming home one day after hanging out with her and sprawling out on the couch in the family room, sobbing about her not having a mother on Mother's Day. Of course at that point, I had never … Continue reading A Mindful Mother’s Day
Last year on this day, I had no idea that I had less than two weeks left with John. I had no idea that going to see Lion that evening was the last movie we'd ever see together in theaters. I had no idea that when I looked at him across the table under the … Continue reading Valentine’s Day
tessa judge 